Burnout and Beyond: How Overworking is Hurting Men's Mental Health

The first question that I ask a prospective client during an initial consultation is, “What is leading you to seek therapy at this time?” The most common answer I receive from men is lack of satisfaction with their job. More than any problem with their partner or children or friend or in-laws are problems finding satisfaction with their occupation. Why is dissatisfaction with work such a strong force that leads men to seek therapy? Western culture has long equated a man's worth with his productivity, making it difficult for many to establish a healthy work-life balance. While ambition and hard work are valuable traits, an overreliance on work can have severe consequences on mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Understanding the root causes of excessive work habits and seeking support, such as therapy, can be crucial in breaking this cycle.

Many men struggle with overcommitment to work due to deeply ingrained beliefs about success and responsibility. From a young age, they are conditioned to view professional achievements as a measure of their self-worth. The pressure to provide, succeed, and prove themselves can drive them to overwork at the expense of personal relationships, hobbies, and self-care. Over time, this relentless pursuit of success can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression (Burke, 2006). The COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated this issue, as remote work blurred the lines between personal and professional life, making it even harder for men to set boundaries and disengage from work-related pressures.

One of the most concerning aspects of excessive work devotion is its impact on mental health. Excessive working can create feelings of emptiness and isolation, as personal connections take a backseat to professional obligations. Without intervention, the effects of work addiction can be long-lasting and damaging (Schaufeli, Taris, & Bakker, 2008).

Therapy can be a powerful tool in helping men recognize and address their overworking tendencies. Therapy can help by allowing men to explore the underlying fears and beliefs that drive excessive work habits, including beliefs about productivity and success. Therapy also encourages the development of social support and resources outside of the work realm, ensuring that men do not use work as a way to avoid difficult emotions or personal challenges (Andreassen, Hetland, & Pallesen, 2014).

Breaking free from compulsive work habits requires self-awareness, support, and a willingness to change. By seeking therapy and prioritizing mental health, men can learn to redefine their sense of self-worth beyond their careers. True success is not measured by the number of hours worked but by the ability to lead a balanced, fulfilling life. Addressing excessive work habits is not about working less—it’s about living more. If you’d like to explore this further, consider booking a free consultation to take the first step toward a healthier work-life balance.

References

Andreassen, C. S., Hetland, J., & Pallesen, S. (2014). Workaholism and well-being among high achievers: A longitudinal study. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 19(3), 315-328. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035709

Burke, R. J. (2006). Workaholism in organizations: Psychological and physical well-being consequences. Stress and Health, 22(3), 143-157. https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.1108

Schaufeli, W. B., Taris, T. W., & Bakker, A. B. (2008). It takes two to tango: Workaholism is working excessively and working compulsively. The Journal of Organizational Behavior, 29(1), 39-54. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.403

How Can Men's Therapy Help with Political Anxiety?

How to Cope with Political Events

In today’s world, it seems like political events are always in the headlines, shaping our lives in ways both subtle and dramatic. Whether it’s an election, a global crisis, or local political movements, the constant stream of political news can be overwhelming. As a psychologist, I see firsthand how these events impact mental health, often causing anxiety, depression, and a sense of powerlessness. For many men, political events can prompt unique emotional responses that may not always be addressed, but still adversely impact mental health. Therapy provides strategies that can help men cope with political events in a healthy and constructive way. Here are some key insights on managing the emotional toll that political events can have on your well-being, particularly when it comes to men’s issues and the challenges that arise.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in coping with political events is to recognize and acknowledge your emotional response. It’s normal to feel upset, anxious, or frustrated when events seem to be out of your control. Whether you’re feeling anger at policies you disagree with, fear about the future, or confusion about what is happening, your emotions are valid.

As a men’s therapist, I often see how societal expectations of men—like being strong, stoic, or detached from emotion—can make it harder to express feelings of vulnerability. However, acknowledging how you feel, without judgment or shame, is crucial. Men’s therapy can help you navigate these emotions effectively, enabling you to manage your stress and anxiety in a more balanced way.

2. Limit Exposure to News

In the age of 24/7 news cycles, it's easy to become consumed by political events. While staying informed is important, too much exposure to negative or distressing information can contribute to anxiety and stress, particularly for men who might already feel pressured to respond in a way that aligns with social expectations of toughness. If you find that the news is causing you distress, it may be time to take a step back.

Try limiting your news consumption to a specific time of day, and focus on reliable sources that provide a balanced perspective. This can help you avoid the constant barrage of sensational headlines and the overwhelming feeling that you're always in the loop. For many men, understanding that it’s okay to take breaks and prioritize mental health over constant engagement with the news can be a powerful step toward emotional wellness.

3. Engage in Meaningful Action

While political events can often feel beyond our control, a helpful way to cope may by engaging in meaningful action. Action can help shift focus from feelings of helplessness to empowerment. Whether it’s volunteering, contacting a friend, or engaging in a hobby, taking steps to align your actions with your values can create a sense of agency and purpose.

For therapy for men, focusing on constructive actions can provide a healthy outlet for the frustration and stress many men experience during times of political unrest. Even small actions, like having conversations with others about how political events are impacting you, can lessen feelings of helplessness.

4. Set Boundaries with Political Discussions

Political debates and discussions, especially on social media, can sometimes escalate quickly into heated arguments that leave everyone feeling drained. Setting boundaries around political conversations is vital for maintaining your mental well-being. As men, there can be additional societal pressure to "fight" for your position in a discussion, but it's essential to know when to step back.

It’s okay to say no to discussions that make you uncomfortable or that aren’t constructive. If someone is trying to engage you in a debate that feels too intense or hostile, kindly explain that you would prefer not to participate. Setting these boundaries can protect your emotional space, making it easier to avoid feeling overwhelmed, angry, or reactive.

5. Foster Community and Support

In difficult times, it’s crucial to seek out support and foster a sense of community. Connecting with others who share your values or who can offer a different perspective can provide emotional comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. This is especially important for men, who are sometimes conditioned to avoid reaching out for emotional support. Whether it’s joining a political group, participating in community organizations, or simply talking to friends and family, support networks can help you process your thoughts and feelings.

Having healthy spaces to discuss your thoughts and emotions, both in private and public settings, is essential for coping with political events. These types of conversations are not only empowering but can also provide valuable perspectives that challenge your own beliefs in constructive ways.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

The stress of political events can sometimes lead to self-criticism or feelings of inadequacy. You may find yourself doubting your ability to make a difference, or feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world. In these moments, it’s important to practice self-compassion. Men are often taught to push through difficult emotions, but self-compassion is crucial for long-term emotional well-being.

7. Seek Professional Help When Needed

Finally, if political events are causing you significant distress or affecting your ability to function, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Speaking with a psychologist, particularly one who specializes in therapy for men, can provide you with tools to manage anxiety and stress, as well as offer a space to process difficult emotions.

I have worked with many men who have sought therapy in order to stay emotionally resilient in challenging times. If political events are affecting your mental health, reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Final Thoughts

For men, prioritizing emotional wellness in the face of political stress is crucial, and seeking support through therapy can be a powerful tool in helping you stay grounded and resilient. If you are interested in a phone consultation to see if therapy can be beneficial for you, please feel free to check the “Make an Appointment” tab on the homepage.

The Consequences of Not Feeling

Most men have been rewarded for not feeling

Men often have an experience before they have an understanding of it. An event may prompt a man to feel a vague sense of discomfort, but it will only be made truly meaningful once he understands the precise emotions that were elicited. For example, being publicly reprimanded by your boss may make you feel uneasy, but understanding that the feeling was shame will equip you with greater knowledge and guide you about what to do next.   

Ideally all men would have learned how to identify what they’re feeling, but often the opposite is true. Most men have been rewarded for not feeling. They have received messages early in life, both overtly and covertly, that displaying emotions undermines other masculine ideals like strength and stability. These messages are often given by an important male figure in the boy’s early life, such as his father. The risk of appearing non-masculine and betraying this male figure is likely too great of a consequence, so he learns that emotional expression must be abandoned. These messages continue to be reinforced throughout childhood and adolescence. Once in adulthood, the consequences of not feeling become most noticeable in the domains of friendships, romantic relationships, work performance, and the use of unhelpful, short-term fixes. Thankfully, therapy provides solutions to these dilemmas.  

Friendships

Most men state that their most important friendships are with other men. When both men have been told not to feel, the friendship may be restricted to participating in hobbies or discussing sports or politics. These relationships can provide a degree of satisfaction, but they do not often provide a context to share the richness of emotional lives that most men crave.

Romantic Relationships

Men are often criticized for not being fully present in their romantic relationships. Whether it is with a girlfriend or a spouse, a man’s inability to feel emotions is often perceived as disengagement or disinterest by his partner. When disagreements arise and a resolution is needed, most partners want to know what the man feels and how to avoid a similar disagreement in the future. When men cannot label what they feel, repairing romantic relationships becomes problematic.

Work Performance

Professional success is quantified by outcomes, not intent. Since being successful at work is a value held by most men, they understand that a measurable goal must be achieved.  The culture of many companies privileges masculine ideals and reinforces the idea that it doesn’t matter what you feel, as long as you reach the goal. When emotional inhibition is seen as necessary for success, it is no wonder that some men feel dissatisfied with their professional lives and wish to be more fulfilled in their occupation.  

Unhelpful, Short-Term Fixes

It is an enticing idea that denying an emotion will make it disappear, but it doesn’t work. Avoiding a feeling will only make that feeling grow over time. Many men know it is unreasonable to expect an emotion will evaporate if avoided, but they also don’t know how to get unstuck. The map out of the stuck place is confusing and the undesired emotion must be quelled somehow. Therefore, men commonly adopt a set of behaviors to compensate for their inability to feel emotions. A variety of numbing behaviors, like alcohol use, sexual activity, or over reliance on technology, provide momentary relief from these painful emotions. Relief does occur, but the brevity of the fix often leaves men feeling even more stuck than when they started.

How to Feel Better

These consequences do not have to be permanent. There are steps that men can take to regain the power and confidence they lost by neglecting emotions. Individual therapy and men’s group therapy are powerful mediums that can help men feel better. However, it’s important that men find a therapist who is knowledgeable of men’s issues. I’ve maintained a focus on men’s issues in research and clinical practice because I believe that men find more success in therapy when their therapist is well-acquainted with these ideas. Learn more here about how therapy with men is different and or schedule an initial phone consultation here.